The Gift That Keeps On Giving
by Breakfast of Champions
Summary: Christmas comes three times a year in Isshu.


N always had miserable Christmas Days up until now. He always wanted a gift from someone, deep down, despite his hatred of humans. His Pokémon friends helped him somewhat, but he knew what he wanted. Oh, yes. He knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted a gift from his new friend, Black Or, at least, only N was the one who considered them friends, anyway. N, in a desperate move of wanting to become closer to Black, sent him a letter asking for a gift exchange. How N received Black's address is undisclosed, but we all know he was probably stalking Black, excluding the probably. N sent a gift within the letter, hoping to receive _something_ back.

It was a few days before Christmas, and Black decided to stay home with his mother to spend more quality time with her. That, and she made the best Christmas dishes around. Except her fruitcake. He went outside to check his mailbox, and what do you know, a letter was in the mail box for him.

"Oh, boy! I wonder who this could be from. Maybe it's Cheren from the psych ward after that one incident!" Black exclaimed, ripping open the envelope. To his awe, the chicken-scratched handwriting was obviously not Cheren's. Cheren was a nerd; his handwriting was like a girl's.

"Ho-oly shit," Black muttered as he read the letter. He seriously wondered how the hell N found out his address, not to mention Black threatened restraining orders against N in the past.

_Dear Black,_

_I'm not used to sending Christmas gifts. I thought this gift would suit a man such as yourself. Black, you really changed me, and I hope one day you'll recognize this. Please take pictures of you with the gift and send them to me, preferably you in the gift._

_Sincerely yours,_

_N_

_PS – Do this or I tell the whole world what we "did" in my castle. Oh, I'll figure out, too, the same way I found your address. Get it? I'm... "**black**"mailing you. HAHA! Merry Christmas, bitch! :D_

Black was about to be in a raging fit of both slight laughter and nearly uncontrollable anger. Anger seemed to be dominating, though. Attached to the letter was something in a medium-sized bag. But it wasn't any kind of bag. It was a pink bag with a gift in it. But it wasn't any kind of gift. It was an X-tra small, X-tra tight, black g-string.

Black immediately stormed inside, telling his mom he needed to go to the nearest city with a store. His mom wasn't able to give him permission before he slammed the door to head towards Sanyou City. "SON OF A MOTHER-!" He continued to grumble his way onto Sanyou City as he flew there with his fly slave, Mamepato.

At least N was seriously dumb enough to put a return address on his letter.

After spending a whole night on Photoshop making his letter back perfect, as well as getting his gift together for N, he sent his package overnight to wherever N decided to be as his address.

It was Christmas Day, and N received the package that Black sent. N cackled, as he thought his plan was actually going to work. Well, maybe it was. Black kept promises well, despite being a rebellious badass most of the time.

But this wasn't a promise.

N opened the package, starting with the letter first. He cackled more, but his laughs seemed to gradually go down as he kept reading.

_ Dear "N"igga,_

_ Bel really enjoyed your gift. She thought it was perfect. So, in thanks for me not having to buy her a real gift, I'm sending you a letter back. Oh, and here's a few photos from us at the castle. Oh? They're not real? Of course they are. No one'll believe you, since, you know. You're the same faggot who tried to free everyone's Pokémon. You're such a joke. You should be making me laugh._

_ Attached is a gift for you. I thought it was absolutely perfect for a man such as yourself. I'm sure you'll find them in handy. Oh, wait. You probably won't. But it's the thought that counts, right?_

_ Merry fucking Christmas, MOTHAFUCKA!_

_ Your compadre,_

_ Black._

_ PS – You're adopted._

Stapled to the letter was a few photos of him with his head pasted on a bunch of naked bodies of women, only his head seemed to blend in very well. Also attached to the letter was a small clear bag. But it wasn't just any kind of bag. It had a gift in it. But it wasn't any kind of gift, it was a few packages of X-tra small condoms with a note attached, saying "Sorry if these are too big!"

N was normally a calm bro. He didn't let this stuff bother him. However, he threw everything to the ground, stomped on them over and over and yelled at the top of his lungs, "SON OF A BITCH!"


End file.
